I LOVE YOU?

there comes a time in a relationship when someone will drop the L-word bomb.
& there's so many people always said to me "farha, i love you".
"i love you too", i answered back. The words fell like paint out of my mouth.
The words fell like so easy to say.
We exchanged "i Love yous" like baseball cards. And ILY become our universal language. ILY meant hello, goodbye, Im sorry, Im happy and macam2 lahh.
And at one moment, i said ILY to my new friend, Amer Arif.
Andd he said "dont say that, please. Love and Sayang is a way different things for me. Jangan cakap love to me if its not the real loveyou kay?"
Mula mula i rasa mcam alaaa kecoh la this guy.
Apa yang beza? Sayang in bahasa n love in english jea kot?
I mean, i love him, i do, but im not in love with him pun. So salah ke nak ckp ily?
But manusia kan berbeza kan.
Rambut sama hitam hati lain lain.
Kita cakap A orang ingat B, kita cakap C orang ingat D.
Those three little words, those eight little letters, could sum up just about anything.
I forgot that there was actually supposed to be meaning behind them.
And then one day I realized that even though i loved Amer and knew that i could fall in love with him, i was not "in love" with him, not yet. So, i had to stop the hollow words that became the bookends to my verbal communication. Even dgn orang lain pun. I takkan cakap I LOVE YOUU TOO. Hmm, so i guess give me a time.
I want to mean it with my whole heart, but right now, i dont..
I'm not in love with anybody.
Not yet.
So, i will not say LOVE you too to anyone untill im ready to say it back :)